The Male and Female Brains Work, The 'Stereotype' Argument

Since the late 1980s, there has been an explosion of research into male and female differences and the way both the male and female brains work. For the first time ever, advanced computer brainscanning equipment has allowed us to see the brain operating 'live' and, with that peek into the vast landscape of the human mind, provided us with many of the answers to the questions about male and female differences. The research discussed in this book has been collected from studies in scientific, medical, psychological and sociological studies and it all points clearly to one thing: All things are not equal; men and women are different. For most of the 20th Century those differences were explained away by social conditioning; that is, we are who we are because of our parents' and teachers' attitudes which, in turn, reflected the attitudes of their society. Baby girls were dressed in pink and given dolls to play with; baby boys were dressed in blue and given toy soldiers and football jerseys. Young girls were cuddled and touched while boys were thumped on the back and told not to cry. Until recently, it was believed that when a baby was born its mind was a clean slate on which its teachers could write its choices and preferences. The biological evidence now available, however, shows a somewhat different picture of why we think the way we do. It shows convincingly that it is our hormones and brain wiring that are largely responsible for our attitudes, preferences and behaviour. This means that if boys and girls grew up on a deserted island with no organised society or parents to guide them, girls would still cuddle, touch, make friends and play with dolls, while boys would compete mentally and physically with each other and form groups with a clear hierarchy.

The wiring of our brain in the womb and the effect of hormones will determine how we think and behave.

As you will see, the way our brains are wired and the hormones pulsing through our bodies are the two factors that largely dictate, long before we are born, how we will think and behave. Our instincts are simply our genes determining how our bodies will behave in given sets of circumstances.

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Same Species Different World

Men and women are different. Not better or worse - different. Just about the only thing they have in common is that they belong to the same species. They live in different worlds, with different values and according to quite different sets of rules. Everyone knows this, but very few people, particularly men, are willing to admit it. The truth, however, is most definitely out there. Look at the evidence. Around 50% of marriages end in divorce in Western countries and most serious relationships stop short of becoming long-term. Men and women of every culture, creed and hue constantly argue over their partners' opinions, behaviour, attitudes and beliefs.
Men and women have evolved differently because they had to. Men hunted, women gathered. Men protected, women nurtured. As a result, their bodies and brains evolved in completely different ways. As their bodies physically changed to adapt to their specific functions, so did their minds. Men grew taller and stronger than most women, while their brains developed to suit their tasks. Women were mostly content for men to work away as they kept the cave fires burning, and their brains evolved to cope with their function in life. Over millions of years, the brain structures of men and women thus continued to change in different ways. Now, we know the sexes process information differently. They think differently. They believe different things. They have different perceptions, priorities and behaviours. To pretend otherwise, is a recipe for heartache, confusion and disillusionment all your life.

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free-complaint area

“Duh, hujan lagi.. hujan lagi! Bisa batal nih semua rencana hari ini”
“Sialan, ujian gue ancuuur!!”

Dan … berapa lagi keluhan yang anda buat hari ini? Mengeluh, berkeluh kesah, nggresulo, .. adakah sesuatu yang bisa kita dapat dari situ? Kepuasan? Perubahan atas sesuatu yang kita keluhkan? Tidak ada. Pikirkan dengan sungguh-sungguh, bahwa akan lebih banyak ‘rugi’ yang kita dapat dari nggrundel. Mau tau beberapa kerugian diantaranya?

1. Berapa orang yang mau mendengar keluhan kita dengan senang hati? Berapa orang dari mereka yang mampu memberi dukungan balik yang positif? Amat sedikit orang yang bisa bersikap demikian. Akan lebih banyak orang yang mencibir, sekalipun itu tidak dilakukan di depan kita. Rugi kan, udah mengeluarkan suara, tapi tidak mendapat dukungan positif.
2. Jika mendengar keluhan, orang lain akan tau bahwa kita sedang memiliki masalah. Tidak semua orang bisa bersimpati dengan tulus. Akan lebih banyak yang bersyukur, sekalipun dalam hati, bahwa kita sedang punya persolan. Ga enak kan diperlakukan demikian.
   
3. Dengan mengeluh, kita mengeluarkan energi. Percuma kan membuang energi untuk sesuatu yang tidak bermanfaat. Semakin sering kita mengeluh, makin banyak hal yang terasa kurang. Semakin banyak berkeluh kesah, makin terasa betapa tidak sempurnanya hidup ini. Lalu kapan kita sempat menikmati hidup? Kapan bisa bersyukur?
4. Dan masih banyak lagi, silahkan menambahkan sendiri :)

Oprah Winfrey bahkan pernah membahas hal ini dalam salah satu shownya, dan dikatakan "When they can eradicate complaining from their lives, they truly become happier". Nah betul kan :)
So, jangan pernah mengeluh! Dimanapun, kapanpun! Syukuri semua yang sudah kita miliki! Jadikan diri kita sebagai free-complaint area dan hidupmu pasti lebih bahagia.

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selamat hari perempuan, selamat berjuang!

8 Maret merupakan Hari Perempuan se dunia. Pertama kali diperingati pada tanggal 11 Maret 1911 di sejumlah negara seperti Jerman, Australia, Denmark dan beberapa negara Eropa lainnya, setelah keluarnya Deklarasi Copenhagen yang menyerukan persatuan kaum perempuan sedunia untuk memperjuangkan persamaan hak perempuan dan anak-anak, untuk pembebasan nasional dan perdamaian. Momentum tersebut terus diperingati tahun demi tahun.

Namun peristiwa peringatan yang paling dikenang sepanjang sejarah Hari Perempuan adalah yang terjadi di Petrograd, Uni Soviet (sekarang St Petersburg, Rusia), yang mencapai puncaknya tanggal 23 Februari (menurut kalender Julian) atau 8 Maret (kalender Gregorian/Masehi). Maka sejak saat itu, hari perempuan sedunia diperingati pada tanggal tersebut.

Lebih dari sejuta perempuan, yang mayoritas bekerja di pabrik-pabrik, turun ke jalan menuntut persamaan hak-hak sipil dan politik, penghapusan diskriminasi, perlakuan kerja yang lebih baik dan gaji yang layak. Usaha para pemilik pabrik menghalangi mereka turun ke jalan dengan mengurung mereka di pabrik-pabrik tidak mematahkan semangat besar untuk mencapai perubahan kondisi kehidupan perempuan yang lebih baik. Mogok kerja dan aksi protes kaum perempuan selama beberapa hari telah menjatuhkan rezim Tsar sebagai sang penguasa yang sangat tidak menghargai perempuan sekaligus mengantarkan Rusia menuju masa transisi zaman feodal menjadi industri.

Dan hingga hari ini, perjuangan ini belumlah usai. Masih banyak hal yang perlu dilakukan kaum perempuan untuk memperjuangkan hak-hak mereka dan anak-anak.

Wahai perempuan, selamat Hari Perempuan. Selamat berjuang!

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